Not-So-Plain Jane

The Jane Hotel, located in the West Village, has more going for it than just a cool website. It’s part of a re-emerging trend of micro hotels, primarily single occupancy rooms that are compared more closely to ship’s cabins than to the supersized suites in much of the rest of Manhattan. The hotel was built in 1908 and has lived several lives already, but has now been refurbished and reintroduced to the hip WV crowd as an inexpensive crash pad, and probably a great place to meet other adventuresome types.

For the low low price of around $80 on a weeknight, you can have a 50 square-foot room with a twin bed, luggage rack, wireless internet, ipod docking and a tiny TV. Bathrooms are communal, and located at the end of each hall. There is a slightly larger room option for couples with a queen or king bed, for which prices have not yet been listed. Families might have fun staying here just for kicks, but it’s aimed as an upscale version of a youth hostel, with great built-in nightlife.

The crowd in the ballroom area is all young and fairly good-looking. There was a higher than usual quotient of euro guys with ponytails, but the space is very cool. Reminiscent of a mix of The Box for the old-school burlesque feel (but sorry, no sex shows here), the Rose Bar for the lounge atmosphere and some aspects of the owners’ other venture, The Bowery Hotel, the space was packed and everyone was having a good time. The DJ there this weekend was doing little more than playing on an iPod, and it seemed that Michael Jackson was nearly the only order of the day but due to MJ mania this week, I’d let that slide and see what’s being played another week.

I myself have not had a chance to check out the rooms here, but it seems like if you need a place to stash some friends when they come visit for the weekend and your one-bedroom is already full, or if you’re looking for a spot to tryst with this month’s secret someone, this could be a fun place to visit. Don’t expect luxury- they list air conditioning as an “amenity” that you should feel privileged to recieve- and don’t pack heavy, since there’s nowhere to put anything. Try to put aside your notions of what you think a hotel should be, just bring yourself and your party shoes and come hang out- that’s what everyone else is doing!

Nouveau Black Card

Offers an NP Solution to Your Wallet

NP Guys –

We would like to introduce you to the Nouveau Black Card.

If you are looking to whole-heartedly embrace your Nouveaulifestyle, we highly recommend this piece of plastic.  Actually, it is a highly complicated Patent Pending Carbon Card.  Un-plastic. 

The black card’s high-end marketing campaign is slightly reminiscent of another black card we know and love; but they are only about as similar as an ABS knockoff to an Oscar dress.

Visa Black Card Members Enjoy These Exclusive Privileges:

• Limited Membership
• 24-Hour Concierge Service
• Exclusive Rewards Program
• Luxury Gifts
• Patent Pending Carbon Card
• Annual Fee $495  

The Other Black Card’s Requirements:

1) Charge $250,000 or more a year to A–X

2) Be invited by A–X or ask to join

3) Pay the $5,000 initiation fee

4) Pay the $2,500 (US) annual Fee

It was very considerate of them to make the annual fee so affordable.  And we are very excited about the Luxury Gifts.  Perhaps their concierge can help us place an order with Curry in a Hurry?

This is not a black card for high rollers.  It was not designed for use at expensive restaurants or for bottle service.  This will help you to maintain your nouveaubudget.

A Finance Guy friend of ours told us of a recent debacle in Miami involving a friend who had departed from these guidelines and attempted to take 10 friends to dinner at Nobu at The Shore Club.  It went something like this:

Finance Guy: “I got this, it’s only like $1600, and my firm is paying back TARP anyways.”

Slides Nouveau Black Card across the sleek wood table

Waitress: Runs the Nouveau Black Card and returns looking embarrassed

“Sir, there seems to be a problem with your black card”  We called Visa and they have only authorized you up to $1200 in any single transaction.

Finance Guy: “What are you talking about, I got special authorization”

Waitress: “I am very sorry sir, but that does not apply to restaurants or charges outside of your area of primary residence”

Finance guy feigns pain, does a shot of Sake and excuses himself to the men’s room.  Distressed Assets guy steps in and slides his (Amex) Black Card across the table.  The bill is taken care of.  The group proceeds to Duvet.

Finance guy has successfully used the Nouveau Black Card to appear generous while maintaining his Nouveaubudget. 

We are considering declaring the Visa Black Card the official credit card of Nouveau Poor.

The Gates to Nightlife Past

The Gates

Kudos to The Gates for their attempt to bring a 2005-era ultra-luxury nightlife spot to a semi-peripheral, yet not quite chic, NYC neighborhood in the midst of the city’s Nouveau Poordom.

They certainally have their rhetoric down cold.  The Gates’ Ambassador Program is described as “a select group of influential invidivuals who have been chosen by The Gates because of their shared vision and potential to contribute distinctive styles and personalities to this unique destination.”

Say what???

We certainly hope that this lofty vision succeeds.  After reading a review online that described it as a blend between Gold Bar and Rose Bar we were quite excited to check it out.  Unfortunately, it is unclear who their clientele is – unless a blend of B&T teenagers and Cougars are their target market.

On the upside, the many oval-shaped glass-topped tables were not bogged down by bottle service clientele so there were plenty of places to sit!

The space itself is opulent and sort of fantastic, if a bit large and lacking in nooks and crannies: hopefully the ambassador program will succeed.

If not, The Gates may be destined to host a large variety of corporate-sponsor events which usually come with free booze.

Drink up, NP friends.

A Nouveau Club in the MPD

Griffin